The First Week with a Newborn: What It Really Feels Like

The first week with a newborn is something you can never fully prepare for. You can read the books, watch the videos, pack everything you think you’ll need…

But nothing quite compares to living it.

It’s beautiful.

It’s overwhelming.

It’s emotional.

And at times, it can feel like a complete blur.

This isn’t here to tell you what you should be doing. It’s here to gently prepare you for what it might actually feel like.

It's a HUGE transition

One of the biggest things I wish more women were told is this:

You don’t just have a baby…You become a mother.

And that shift - physically, mentally, emotionally - is huge.

Your body is recovering.

Your hormones are changing rapidly.

Your entire world has shifted overnight.

It’s okay if it feels like a lot.

It is called 'Matrescence' and I will be delving more into that another time.

The Hormonal Shift Is Real

After birth, your hormone levels drop dramatically. This can leave you feeling:

• Tearful

• Overwhelmed

• Emotional for no clear reason

This is completely normal.

Understanding this ahead of time can help you meet yourself with more compassion, rather than questioning how you’re feeling.

Sleep Looks Different

Newborn sleep can feel like a shock if you’re not expecting it. Babies wake frequently - not because something is wrong, but because it’s biologically normal.

They feed often.

They seek comfort.

They need closeness.

This phase isn’t forever - but in those early days, it can feel intense.

Something I always say is that you can conquer anything if you have had enough sleep. And unfortunately, during those early days, sleep is something that you lack hugely. It is a phase, and it will pass, but have an understanding that you are not going to be able to conquer a huge amount.

Have realistic expectations

Do not put too much pressure on yourself to try to do too much during those early days. In many the postpartum period - often called "lying-in" - is a sacred time for the mother to rest, recover, and bond with her baby while being supported by others, and you do not leave the house for 4 - 6 weeks!

Even if your expectation for the day is to have a shower and brush your teeth, or change into clean PJs - do what feels right for you and your baby.

Feeding Can Take Time to Find Its Rhythm

Whether you’re breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or combination feeding, it can take time for things to feel established. Both you and baby are learning on the job - this is new to the pair of you.

It’s okay if it doesn’t feel natural straight away.

There is no “perfect” way - only what works for you and your baby.

It’s okay if you need support. And please note, there is SO much support out there to help with feeding. If you ever need help being sign-posted, please do reach out and I will do my best to find support that is local to you!

You Might Feel Both Joy and Overwhelm

You can feel completely in love with your baby…and also feel exhausted, unsure or emotional.

Both can exist at the same time and in the same moment.

There’s no right way to feel in those early days.

The Importance of Support

This is where support makes such a difference. Having someone there who can:

• Hold the baby while you rest or shower

• Make you a cup of tea

• Help with small things around the house

• Simply listen

can completely change how those early days feel.

You are not meant to do this alone.

There is no “bounce back”

There is no such thing as “bouncing back.” Your body has grown and birthed a baby. Your world has completely changed. This isn’t about returning to who you were before.

It’s about moving forward - getting to know this new version of you, in your own time.

Be gentle with yourself as you find your way.

Visitors

Have conversations before baby arrives about some 'rules' that you may need to put in place. Who is going to be the first people that come and see you? No unexpected "pop-in's". You may decide no visitors at all for the first few days/weeks. In all of this, think about what is best for you and your baby - not worrying about upsetting anyone.

If you do decide to have visitors, some tips that I stuck to after having my 2nd baby:

• Limit visitors during those early days - 1 set per day, maximum

• You do not want to be arranging morning visits - if you have had a tough, sleep deprived night, the last thing you want is someone turning up at 10am.

• Don't agree to them "popping in" at a time that suits them - be clear about when is best for you

• If you say to come at lunchtime, let them bring you lunch

• Do not feel like you need to have the house clean and tidy for them

• Do not make them tea or coffee - that is something they should be offering to do for you

• If you need to cancel, they should totally understand! And if they don't, they do not have your best intentions at heart.

A Final Thought

The first week with a newborn is not about getting everything right. It’s about finding your way! This time is precious and they will never be this small again.